Princes of the Apocalypse

Cassim Saves the Day Again

Fissure Sesh (June 10th)

Classic Avon, getting caught up in shit for reasons that are still unclear. So we go check out the fissure, and Beastboy and some dude are tied up, prisoners of the wind frat. Beast boy turns into a freaking polar bear (cause of course he can do that now), and our inferior enemies thought the bear ate one of their prisoners. Side by side with our old acquaintance and this new ally, we fought off the frat boys. And by fight off I of course mean killed every single one. Turns out this new guy, Lucias had a vision that wasn’t cryptic as fuck (like is that even a thing?), or maybe his god told him. Anyway he was told to help us because we’ve fallen off the path. Probably because one of the chosen ones decide to defect and start a fucking militia, but that’s neither here nor there. So we follow the wind from the train we missed (meta) deeper into the cave. A fucking 3 hour hike later and we find ourselves outside what looks like some ancient dwarven city or some shit that these guys have decided to make their ultra double secret hideout. Naturally, I tried the front door. The arrow I immediately took to the chest proved that might not be the best route. So we decided to go with tactical bear insertion and gave Avon spiderwalk. He climbs the outside wall with me on top. Then we had everyone else climb over anyway. That’s when things got fun. This dude that shoots lightning (which is in fact not made of fire) was riding a mother fucking teenage dragon. So, hearing the call of leadership, I began trying doors. The first one had more enemies, so that was a no go. The second door had more enemies still. Door number 3, however, was a winner. And with the help of my new sidekick, “totally not a historical figure”, we cleared 9 fucking rooms, while the rest of the gang handled one of the front guard rooms. Amongst the enemies were frat bros and bird people alike. One of the birds growled like a bear! We later determined he was repeating Avon, which made sense given the fact that he had said translated to “Cassim is the greatest”. So at some point we squaded up and took down the lightning dragon rider. Naturally, I was the one to finish off the dragon. Then we grouped up in a room and barricaded ourselves so Travok could cast the LONGEST heal spell ever. With a minute left, enemies had found us and demanded we show ourselves. Due to some quick thinking on my part, I convinced them I needed a minute to get my pants on. So we healed up, then after killing these guys off- Oh yeah and at this point we had found prisoners. They were in one of those first rooms. We liked them because they didn’t attack us. So anyway we’re trying to escort these prisoners out. I try the first room again. In this room, some dude is teaching some peeps to play the flute and they are awful at it. I tell him to let me try, and of course the flute is made of human bone. I wind up killing it (he said so himself) then do a dance to show him my many talents. After this bullshit went on for a bit I finally figured out my brilliant plan to get us out. I told him we were here to escort the prisoners out. He said “aight dude you do you” and we took the prisoners all the way back to Redlarch without any trouble. Our next move? To go back and finish making our way through that dungeon and to hopefully get some answers. Oh and Lucias had heard something about a stone monster in the water. I really wanted to go full wild card and try to release it but my associates decided we shouldn’t ☹


“Tales from the Yawning Portal” has nothing on “Tales from the Dive Bar Cassim Goes To”

Cassim Saves the Day Again

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